 - When did you first become aware of a desire to stimulate yourself sexually? What triggered it? How did you do it? How did you feel? Did you have to hide it from others? How did it influence your further sexual life?
I had a good friend at school, a boy, we shared a desk with. It was in the last row, on the left, I set by the window.
We never spoke with Sashka of sex or anything like that. Unlike the rest of the boys, he never harassed me, never made any dirty jokes (the guys in our class were notorious for). But once, right in the middle of the Russian lesson, his left hand fell down and I felt him stroking my leg… And I pretended not to notice and went on writing something in my notebook, although I was doing that purely ‘mechanically’ without thinking… His hand got me very excited, but I was trying hard not to let it show.
So that began to happen on every class. I behaved as if I did not notice anything at all, and Sashka grew bolder. In a few days his hand crawled under my skirt freely. Nobody saw anything, because we set at the far end of the room, and our right hands were busy writing in the notebooks. But at the same time Sashaka’s left hand… was doing everything it felt like :), and I was eager to play the game too.
At first I kept my legs pressed hard together, and his hand seek its way further persistently. Gradually I weaken my muscles allowing his hand to stroke me there. Then I would press my legs together again, catching his hand with my legs and squeezing it hard between them. I got madly horny and was writing in my notebook some kind of gibberish. On several occasions I allowed his hand to creep under my panties and touch my naked… And when he needed to withdraw his hand, I would not let it go, squeezing it with my legs tightly.
I was desperate to take initiative and on several occasions, I would drop my pen and got under the desk to pick it up. Doing that, as if unintentionally, I would touch his pants, and dwelled for a few moments trying to get a good feel of the thing inside his pants – what it felt to touch like? :) Getting horny as hell at the classes, we continued our games after – he saw me home. Without discussing it, we would choose the road along the least frequented lanes. We would find a spot where nobody could see us, stop there, drop our school bags, and our game continued in the boldest manner.
He did not know how to caress a girl, I did not know how to masturbate properly, but purely intuitively I felt that I liked his rubbing me at a certain rhythm, and with a certain speed the most. So when his fingers got deeper, I squeezed them between my thighs and working my muscles achieved a certain rhythm. Of course it all took place with my panties pulled down plainly, but he himself never allowed me to take his naked cock in hand (must be shy). But through his pants I touched and squeezed it any way I wanted to.
Also, on the purely intuitive level I felt that he liked a certain rhythm too, and, once, having caught that rhythm, the game resulted with appearance of a big wet spot on his pants… That embarrassed both of us then. He did not know what to do with embarrassment and how to go home in such a state. He left quickly that time and walked for three hours somewhere waiting for the wet spot to dry out :)
Strangely, all that happened with us not exchanging a word in a sort of silent consent. We spoke of unrelated stuff only, but our feet found the way to remotest corners and our hands minded their own business, regardless of what our tongues were saying at the moment. The lower parts of our bodies lived their own lives different from the upper parts. :)
I think that was real sex. We never spoke of love or anything like that… But it was a big shock for me when a new girl came to our class the next year and he fell in love with her… That ended our relationships for good, although at first he tried to continue our sexual games while dating her…
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